Considering Maturity

This evening

This time last year, I was learning to walk again. My online course in drawing and watercolor was still in the planning stage.

Now, I'm walking just fine (finally!), and I have witnessed remarkable transformations in the students who have enrolled in my online courses over the past 11 months.

The fireflies rise up from the lawn in the fading golden light of the day. After years of landscaping, planting and pulling, digging and trimming, the yard and the gardens are majestic compared to what I started with. The Rose of Sharons and the day lilies popped into bloom today. The oakleaf hydrangeas are in full flower. Everything feels fully mature.

Looking for a good quote on maturity, I found one. But dare I quote Ann Landers twice in one month? Oh, why not? It's really good.

"Maturity: Be able to stick with a job until it is finished. Be able to bear an injustice without having to get even. Be able to carry money without spending it. Do your duty without being supervised." —Ann Landers

Surprisingly, I did not find any other quotes that really describe maturity, only ones that refer to it.

Like so many things, maturity is a process. A ripening. But there are certain experiences in life (well, let's hope so) that hold up a mirror to yourself and you think, "Oh, I'm different now. I've matured."

I'm not talking about looking in a mirror and thinking, "My god, how I've aged!" I mean more along the lines of what the Dalai Lama describes in the following quote. I have this quote taped to the wall in the center of my house. When I remember to stop and read it, I think, "Oh, yeah. That's right."

“Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to be alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others; to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others. I am going to benefit others as much as I can.” ― Dalai Lama XIV

Although that pretty much says it all, I will add...

One way to develop yourself

If you want in on an advance discount plus bonus for my See Here Now Online Drawing and Watercolor Course starting July 12, plus an invitation to a friendly Q + A teleconference this Thursday night, sign up on the waiting list now. The waiting list closes on Thursday and this one-time only offer goes away at end of week.

More posts on My Back Yard.
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Are You Transitioning?

Phase
Watercolor
Suzanne McDermott

Transition State

I don't know anything about chemistry except for what some symbols on the periodic table represent. Nonetheless, I learned today a bit about the Transition State, when a chemical reaction reaches the highest form of energy (assuming a perfectly irreversible reaction) that leads to a new form.

I do, however, know about transition. I might be an expert!

My father collected Arnold Toynbee's volumes of A Study of History as they were being published and one of my prized possessions is a letter from Toynbee to my father.

If my father wasn't talking to me about Shakespeare or music, he was explaining to me Toynbee's theory of civilization, not least of which was the idea of Challenge and Response. It's the point at which the creative class of a civilization either responds in a creative manner to a critical challenge or fails to meet the challenge, resulting in the stagnation or decay of that civilization.

When I read about the Transition State in chemistry, Toynbee immediately came to mind. The thing about Toynbee's theory is that he likened civilizations to the individual's experience in life — at least in my understanding.

This transition state is true for all creative endeavors. Whether you're making a drawing or watercolor, forming a new state, or moving from one phase of life to another. You simply can't snap your fingers and have a new form appear, or be different. You must go through a phase of transition.

“The interval between the decay of the old and the formation and the establishment of the new, constitutes a period of transition which must always necessarily be one of uncertainty, confusion, error, and wild and fierce fanaticism” — John C. Calhoun

The reason I teach drawing and watercolor is not (necessarily) to transform people into artists but, rather, to guide students through the transitional work required to meet problems, solve problems, experience failure and yet, proceed to meet further challenges so as to grow and flourish.

It's all about transformation within. The result, on paper, is almost secondary. It's evidence. The resulting form of the transitional reaction within.

I think of life as school for the soul. We work through one phase, graduate, and then transition into the next phase. The transition states in life are challenging. But the rewards of the new form are worth every bit of the challenge.

When students truly take my lessons to heart, they use the opportunity to apply the experience of the drawing and watercolor exercises to their everyday lives. Life is the first art. That's where it really counts.

Transition this summer

and transform yourself in the process!

Click here for last chance to add your name to the waiting list for my next online drawing and watercolor course starting July 12. (Details later this month.)

If you're on the list, you'll be first to know about the course and have the opportunity to receive a beautiful bonus gift package.

Learn more about the course and add your name to the list here.

____________________________________________
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Letting Go

Sometimes letting go feels like the most difficult, painful process in life. In fact, we let go effortlessly all the time.

We breathe in. We let go of the breath. We can't help it. We can't think about it, at least not for very long. Breathing in and letting go of breath is life itself.

The truth is that, in order to grow we must let go of things and people and places and ways of self-identification.

One of the problems we face in letting go is the fear of losing control. In practicing and teaching watercolor, the issue of control is a big factor. Watercolor is a great teacher of learning to deal with control issues and those lessons carry over into life in general. However, life always brings new challenges that offer us opportunities to grow even further and learn to let go even more.

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” ― Ann Landers

The idea that we have control over anything is merely a self-comforting illusion. We can learn to control our own behavior and change our own patterns of thought that lead to reaction but that's about it.

When I forget that I'm not in control, one potential result is that I experience tremendous anxiety. It's an inherited trait and learned behavior that I swore I'd never succumb to. Oh, well. The follies of youth.

Thomas Merton said that "Anxiety is the mark of spiritual insecurity." How true.

My Aunt Nancy kept a Ziggy cartoon on her refrigerator that read, "Let go and let God."

Regardless of your belief system and the fact that it's so easy to forget, it really is as simple as that. Why do we make it so difficult?

Letting go of things, people, and situations is one thing. Letting go of ways in which we cling to particular identities is another. One of my favorite books is Still Here: Embracing Aging, Changing, and Dying by Ram Dass (one of my favorite people.) Here's a passage:

"Letting go of personal history doesn't mean denying it; it means not allowing it to color the present moment with past experience. For example, I used to say, "I'm a golfer, and a sports car driver." That's my personal history. But now I'm someone telling that story. I can't golf or drive anymore. If I cling to that identity, I suffer. I can still tell stories, but I have to tell them without becoming the person I was when I golfed and drove cars. The things I did were exciting to that person, but they don't grip me in the same way. I have let go. You can bring your past up to your consciousness and look at it with the eyes of the present. Any memory can be captivating, but you have to bring it back to who you are in the present to nullify its grip on you.

"Unless we make a conscious effort to live with "beginner's mind," coming to each experience fresh, we find that the accumulation of our years can become a ball and chain."

One of the first orders of business in getting your life in order is to clear your clutter and let go of stuff.

One of the first orders of business in letting go of frustrations with yourself and your life is to learn a new skill instead of dwelling on skills you never mastered.

Do some conscious breathing. Almost immediately, you'll discover tension. Breath consciously until you feel how effortless it really is.

Then throw something out that you haven't used in a year. Give something else away. Learn a new skill. Start a practice of letting go to make room for the new and unexpected.

Here's an opportunity to learn a few new skills
and transform yourself in the process!

Click here to add your name to the waiting list for my next online drawing and watercolor course starting July 12. (Details later this month.)

If you're on the list, you'll be first to know about the course and have the opportunity to receive a beautiful bonus gift package.

Learn more about the course and add your name to the list here.

____________________________________________
Join my Tribe and receive a gift pack of inspiration

• Drawing Lesson
• Song Download (my well-loved Great Day)
• and my Weekly eZine Stroke and Flow

Name Email

Learn about my Online Drawing and Watercolor Course